My Brother's Girl
by yourperfecttome
Summary: Delena; Just a quick one shot on Damon's feelings in the final episode of season 2. Nothing fantastic but I'd appricate if you R&R. :D


I was dying, and I could feel it. Pale and sweating… I looked over to Elena, my brother's girl, who was curled into my side. I tried to focus on how she felt against me, how good it was to feel her warm hand cupping my usually cold one, but due to the wolf bite my temperate had gone through the roof. It was happening, but very slowly. Every time I closed my eyes, I was back in 1864, and it wasn't Elena next to me, it was Katherine. The girl who had ruined my life.

How could Elena look exactly like someone so manipulative, yet be so pure, so kind? Everything I wanted to be, but just couldn't. It was like there was a wall between who I was now, and my humanity – but a wall I had built. Locked everyone out of because it was so much easier. Until I met iher./i At first Elena was a game; someone I could use to mess with Stefan, because that's what I had always done. It helped that she looked like Katherine; she was physically beautiful. But the more that I studied her, the more that I got to know this girl, the more I realised that there was more to my afterlife than to be, well, a dick. There was more to this girl than the outside beautiful. The longer I spent with her, the more I learnt that she was not like Katherine. Not even in the slightest.

Was Elena here just for pity? Was she here because if I was left alone, I'd flee this house and go on a killing spree, like Rose did and I had to be the one to stop her? I could feel my body, my dead organs, slowly giving up, if that was even possible. It hurt my arms and legs to move, and even the simplest movements like rolling my head to the side so my cheek was pressed against the pillow, just so I could look at the girl beside me, was absolute agony. But it was worth it, it was worth it just to see her face.

The beads of sweat rolled down my forehead as my eyebrows furrowed and my jaw clenched. I tried to minimize my groans simply because I didn't want Elena to see me like this. I didnt want her to be here, because I knew at any second I could lash out and bite her again, but at the same time, I didnt want her to go.

"I-It's not okay…" My voice was barely a mumble, but I hoped that Elena would be able to hear me because I didn't have the strength to speak any louder, not anymore. "It's not okay…" I repeated, but this time there was more dominance to my voice, like I now had control over my body, that I was trying my hardest to fight this pain, for Elena. "All those years I blamed Stefan… no one forced me to love her… it was my own choice…" _Just like no one was forcing me to love you_. I desperately wanted to say it, but I couldn't find the right words… it was either that or my mouth was working against my brain, because Elena was still my brothers girlfriend, and she loved him. I could see that, I could see it in her eyes, the way they lit up whenever she was around him, or whenever he called her. And I wanted her to look at me that way, so badly. I wanted to be the one with the hero hairdo, be the one to save her. But realisation had kicked in, and this wasn't a game anymore. Elena wasn't a game.

I could hear Elena's faint shh's as she tried to sooth me, but I chose to ignore them and carried on speaking lowly. "I made the wrong choice…" I said, as my eyes closed over and I swallowed hard; I had to say it – the game was over. I opened my eyes and tilted my head back; Elena's arms were locked around me and I knew she wanted me to move as little as possible. "Tell Stefan I'm sorry…"

Sorry for making his life hell, sorry for not being the older brother that I should have been. I was supposed to look after him, take care of him. But I was so bitter about being what I was that I just wanted to take everything away from him. I wanted to say it to his face, but he wasn't here. Why wasn't my brother here? Did he hate me that much, that he didn't want to be around me, even when I was on the verge of dying? I wanted to tell him that I was sorry I had Lexi killed; I always knew he'd never really forgiven me for that. I wanted to tell him sorry for taking up every opportunity to screw him over. But mostly, I wanted to say sorry for falling in love with his girlfriend. I didn't want to be the bad guy anymore. Elena brought the person I once was out in me, and when I was around her, I liked the way I felt about myself. But it was a little too late for redemption now.

I heard Elena talk, she was trying to make her tone of voice strong but it shook with uncertainty when she spoke. I heard the word hope and I stayed silent for a few moments. Even if there was hope, even if there was some miraculous cure that could save me, I didn't want it.

I didn't want to spend the rest of my eternal life feeling this way. Every time I looked at Elena, looked deep into her eyes I felt my heart break because I knew that she'd never be mine. Before, I'd come to terms with the fact that I'd never find someone to spend the rest of my life with, but now that she was so close to me in this embrace, I couldn't help but want her for my own more and more.

"I've made a lot of choices that have gotten me here… I deserve this… I deserve to die…" I knew that if I was looking onto a situation like mine, and was listening to what I was saying from someone else, I would be thinking how truly pathetic I sounded. I couldn't tell Elena to stop hoping, to stop having faith in the fact that I would live because she was the only person that wanted me to live, the only person that wanted me around.

When I closed my eyes, my mind flashed back to when I had forced Elena to drink my blood, and how selfish of an act that was. I winced, but this time not from the pain, but from how stupid I had been. Why would I want to condemn someone to a life like this? That was the difference between Stefan and I. Stefan didn't want Elena to be a vampire because he loved her. But I had wanted Elena to become one, because_ I_ had loved her. And that was what separated us Salvatore's into the good brother, bad brother stereotypes. And it wasn't until now, until I was lying on my deathbed (literally) that I realised. I was stupid. My decisions were stupid. My actions were stupid. And I deserved to die. I knew deep down if something had went wrong with our plan, and Elena had woken up as a vampire, then I would of never been able to forgive myself; and every time I would look at her, I would see the humanity and purity that I had taken away.

Elena was shaking her head, telling me that I didn't deserve to die because that was Elena all over, despite what I had done to her; trying to take away her humanity, killing her brother, not being able to save her aunt, trying to destroy her relationship with my brother, getting everyone she loved hurt – she always saw the good in people. She was the only one who saw the good in me.

"I do Elena, it's okay. Because if I had chosen differently then I wouldn't have met you."

She turned to look at me; she was still silent.

"I'm so sorry. I've done so many things to hurt you."

It was then she spoke.

"It's okay," She whispered, in her soft voice which was a match for Katherine's exactly, down to the way she pronounced her letters. "I forgive you." I shut my eyes once those three words escaped her lips. They weren't the ones that I wanted to hear, but they were close enough.

"I know you love Stefan… and that it will always be Stefan…" I stopped, and again she didn't say anything. But her actions spoke louder than words. Her body moved closer to mine and she held my hand tighter. She didn't have to say anything but I knew that somewhere, even if it was just the tiniest amount, that she felt the same way about me that I did about her. Because she wasn't agreeing about it always being Stefan. Or maybe that was just my hallucinations, my mind tricking me that she did indeed feel the same. I continued to speak, it was like the words were tumbling out of my mouth and there was nothing I could do about it. But I didn't want to listen to the silence between us, and I wanted to tell Elena how I felt, without having to make her forget again. She needed to know. I _needed_ her to know. "But I love you… you should know that…"

"I do." Of course she did. It was damn obvious to everyone. But I smiled all the same. At least she knew.

"You should have met me in 1864. You would have liked me," I was much more of an honourable man, so much different to how I acted now. Despite that, Elena brought out part of that guy in me. The rest of that man had died the night I did and turned into a monster, which I myself had begun to hate.

The next nine words that she said to me were better than having my hopes on any kind of cure.

"I like you now. Just the way you are." She lifted her head up and looked at me, I could barely see her through my closed eyes but her face always leaning in closer and it was then that I felt it, her soft lips pressed against mine willingly, the action was unforced and unprovoked, she had kissed me of her own accord. I was too weak to be able to move my own lips against hers, even though I desperately wanted too. But tasting her was just enough. It was like fireworks had been set off inside of me as soon as her lips touched mine – for the first time since 1864, I felt human. Everything was intensified; the love that I felt for Elena, right at this precise moment was indescribable. I could have stayed this way forever but the kiss itself was short lived; she pulled away after a few seconds but I could still taste her on my lips; they were tingling from the contact.

"Thank you…" I whispered, everything was perfect. I wanted to be able to just close my eyes right now, and slip away from everything. I had everything I wanted. I knew, that somewhere deep down inside Elena, that she loved me back. It wasn't delusional. That kiss wasn't a kiss to keep me holding on, to give me something to fight for. That kiss was spontaneous, unplanned, the best kind of kiss and now I just wanted to be able to let go because it _hurt._ And I didn't know whether it was the pain from the bite or the pain from not ever being able to have Elena that was causing it, but either way, despite my bliss over Elena's kisses, I knew I wouldn't be able to live another day and see her with Stefan, kissing Stefan the way she just had with me. I knew that if everything was to go black now, at least that way I wouldn't have to be put through the second best torture.

What hurt the most, it that I knew Elena would be feeling a raging amount of guilt if I was okay, and I didn't want to have to put her through that. I didn't want to have to put her through the guilt of finding the words to tell Stefan that she'd kissed me. God, I didn't want her to feel that she was exactly like Katherine.

I looked at her, my brother's girl, and I knew that if I had the chance, I could love her for the rest of my life.


End file.
